I hate summer.
News flash: Summer Sucks! Oh I know, it's supposed to be full of fun family activities, relaxation, and the stuff memories are made of, but I'm hoping I'll be able to forget this summer. I have all three kids 24/7. Aside from half hour swim lessons four times a week for Little Boy and Little Girl, I have no other scheduled activities. My freelance business has totally dried up, so we're existing on B.'s salary alone, which doesn't leave enough $$$ to spare for summer camps, or much in the way of babysitters.
Can I just whine for a second? It's so hard dragging around three kids everywhere. Small errands become exhausting marathons. Every stop is slow and inefficient and takes forever. I have to pick and choose what gets done, since the kids (or I) will implode if I push too far.
The heat is killing me, and it's barely June. Taking three small kids with minimal to no swimming skills to the pool sucks. I have to be hyper-vigilant and in three places at once and like everything else, it's exhausting. On the rare occasions that he accompanies us to the pool, B. has the audacity to bring (and read!) a book. Seriously?
And then there's B. I don't know what's going on with him, but he's not in a good place. He's actually lost his shit with me a couple of times and raged, absolutely raged at me. Our relationship has broken down to the point where we're unable to communicate about anything of importance. I have no idea how to fix it.
To top it all off, I don't think my meds are working as well as they used to. I seem to be feeling things much more acutely, and I'd rather not. I'm going to give it a little time to make sure it's not just the beginning-of-summer blues, but if things don't change, I'll have to make some sort of adjustment.
Hope your summer is off to a better start than mine! Sorry for the self-indulgent whining.
posted by Bad Egg @ 12:51 PM
6 Comments:
Claudia,
I know what you mean about about getting things done with kids. Just to get in the car is a nightmare. I have reduced myself to drive thrus for eating, the pharmacy, and the cleaners. The pool - yikes. Activities for kids are no fun because you have to watch them and deal with their little attitudes, etc. I guess we have to wait until they are about 6 years old. I hear that is the time when they start to chill out a bit - and go to school. I remember a post that you wrote back in 2004 or 2005 before you had your twins. I believe you went to the pool at Ft. Mac and got really upset about seeing all the people with their kids. You wondered why you were being left out of the club (the parent club). I felt the same way at that time too. Why can't I have any kids. We both hoped for the same thing, finally received it, but we are both having trouble dealing with it. I feel so bad when I yell at my daughter. Then I think back to that post that you wrote so long ago and I am thankful to have her. We just have to be strong and get through it. They can't be this age forever, can they? One thing that has helped me is keeping involved in summer activities sponsored by the county (I live in Clayton County) They are super cheap like $25 for a ballet class that lasts 5 or 6 weeks. I like the 5 pm classes because by the time we get home, she can go to sleep. The days can be so long staying home. I know it is much harder for you with twins and a baby but it will get better as they get older. Take care.
I only have two kids, 8 and 4 but I still HATE having to go anywhere with them. Sure, the eight year old is self-sufficient but she's also very demanding of my attention. The four year old is physically delayed, so...even though she walks independently, she needs help getting into and out of the car, sometimes whining to be carried if it's hot or late, or a long walk, blah blah blah.
And yes, my husband NEVER suggests that I leave them home when I have to run to the grocery store. Heavens NO, that's not going to happen. He's too busy 'tinkering' in the basement or one of his garages. And when the girls and I drag ourselves downstairs after bath at 7:30 each night? He's snoozing on the couch after his long, tiring day of being ALONE.
Every single night I mutter under my breath, "Must be f@#$ing nice."
You are not alone. I don't know if it helps you to know that, but you aren't.
I'm with you. Summer blows.
Yeah, that does sound suckass.
I think it is kind of hilarious he brought a book to the pool! WOW.
Maybe you can do summer the old-fashioned way and just send them out to the backyard to play all day?
Hello! I know you don't know me, but we've got something in common. I got your blog address off the Stirrup Queen's blogroll and was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping me help a couple who is trying to add a little one to their family. We're holding a silent auction for them this weekend (Friday and Saturday) on goteamwitt.blogspot.com and need help getting the word out! We would love it if you would spread the word via social media or here on your blog. Additionally, we are always looking for more donations to auction off, so if you or someone you know might be interested in making a donation, all the information is under the donate tab. If you have any questions or would be willing to post a pre-written blog post about the auction and the sponsored couple, please contact Kristin at goteamwitt@gmail.com Thanks in advance for taking the time to consider this!
Claudia, I remain sorry that things are so tough. It just sounds like a lot of things are against you. I am particularly sorry that B is not able to be there more for you and the children so you are left to shoulder this burden alone.
I hope there is some way through this, or to create a few minutes when you can get to relish the joy in your children.
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