Annoyed.

It's a constant state for me. Which is in itself, annoying. It's perhaps one of my greater failings, that I'm more annoyed by my children than anything else. The meds have quelled the depression for the most part, but they haven't made me much more patient. Or able to tolerate the repetitive behavior that drives me Nuts. It contributes to my overall feeling of failure as a parent. I'm snarky & sarcastic & bitter with Little Boy and Little Girl, and aware enough of it to feel pretty guilty. I keep waiting for the next phase of their development, one presumably less annoying, but it never seems to come. And now Baby has entered the same challenging territory, and while as a singleton she's much easier to manage, my patience is already worn thin and she inevitably will also be the recipient of my aforementioned snark, sarcasm and bitterness. Sad, right?

Not much else to report from this end. Holding steady. My dad is still alive. My marriage sucks. The meds may have saved my life, but I'm still not enjoying it.