Itching & bitching.

Plaguing me of late? Eczema. Around my mouth like a goatee, and on the sides of my neck. I've been to the dermatologist three times, and have exhausted all the traditional topical options (steroids, protopic) to no avail. Dr. doesn't want to try a systemic approach because I'm still breastfeeding.

I've had small flare-ups over the years, but nothing even remotely close to this. It looks truly horrible. The icing on my isolation cake, making me want to cry every time I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror. And the itching, sweet jeebus the itching. I'm keeping my nails short so that I don't accidentally tear my face off.

Triggers? Not sure. Obviously some emotional/stress component, but I've been crazy plenty of times in the past without eczema flaring up. Might be the crappy water quality at our new house. Might be some weird allergic reaction. The flare-up began before we moved, but got dramatically worse this summer.

Things I've tried:

Drinking apple cider vinegar & using it topically
Too many eczema creams/lotions/unguents/potions to count
Evening primrose oil, orally & topically
UV, otherwise known as sunshine
Cool moisture
Warm moisture
Doing nothing and leaving it alone

Things that have worked:

Nothing

Sadly, Little Boy is having a flare up as well, although his is much smaller & less irritating to him. Our simultaneous conditions would point to an environmental cause, but how in the world do you figure out what?

Mentally, hanging in there. Still hating my life, then feeling like shit for hating it. Vicious cycle. Meds still working, thankfully. B. is driving me insane, but that's nothing new.

Baby is lovely, almost ten months old, almost crawling, still no teeth (!), getting better at eating solids, and just a happy spirit in general (if I'm around, that is). I've never been so enmeshed with another human being before (didn't have that luxury with twins) and oddly, I don't mind. Given how much I did not want Baby to exist, I'm surprisingly non-resentful and accepting of her. Thankfully.