News.

This last long break between posts brought to you by surprise, shock and utter panic.

I’m pregnant. 8w3d today. One baby.

I don’t have the ability to completely explain where my head is right now. Suffice it to say that I’m not handling it well. I had long ago made complete peace with not having more children. Mother Nature—truly, in so many ways a bitch—seems to have other plans for me.

I’ll be forty this year and have so many strikes against me (high FSH, stage IV endometriosis, homozygous MTHFR, PAI-1, a missing fallopian tube) that my mind is still stuck on what happened, not what could happen. As we all know too well, being pregnant now is no guarantee of a baby down the road.

For those of you still grappling with infertility, I apologize. I have become what I used to hate: someone that didn’t manage their fertility carefully and got pregnant by accident.