Debbie Downer, that's me!
I don’t much like my kids these days.* Every last thing is a challenge. Or a lesson. I open my mouth, words come out, but they fall upon deaf ears. I repeat myself endlessly, but to no avail. They still do whatever the hell they want until a more dramatic intervention is required. I yell too much, but can’t seem to catch their attention otherwise. At the end of the day I’m drained and wasted and full of nothing but negative. We watch too much television ‘cause I can’t muster up the energy or enthusiasm to entertain these two little people one minute longer. It doesn’t help knowing that each day is going to be exactly like the last. The view from the hamster wheel sucks.
The cause of this unhappiness? There’s been a shortage of “me” time the past few months. So much so that I no longer really know who or what “me” is, besides “mom.” Since last November we’ve not had funds for any mother’s helpers/babysitters. This means I’m pretty close to full-on insane. Clients are slow to pay me, we’ve had some unexpected expenses, we’re still digging out from the holidays, so the financial situation’s not going to change anytime soon.
It’ll get better. It’s just a phase.
Right?
*Yeah, yeah, I love my kids, eternally grateful to have them, yadda yadda yadda.
posted by * @ 11:22 AM
4 Comments:
Have you read Jenn's post today. Something about the end of winter, the financial situation, the lack of support to mothers with toddlers that is just bearing down on you. Don't suppose there are any free toddler groups nearby you can take them to? Another mother you can swap baby sitting with? you need a break...
I suggest more TV. That's basically all we've done this week during our mutual horrific illness. Really makes parenting easier!
Uh, that said...it'll get better in the spring...run around at the park and so forth...and maybe the money will pick up...and you are welcome to drop them off here anytime. Nora would be beside herself with excitement.
Even years late, I still cringe at the memories of those endless days - looking at he clock and thinking "I only have to make it through three more hours..."
It's so hard to even come up with a creative solution when you're exhausted and at the end of your rope. But some kind of mom-swap or a playgroup might help. The "me" time is so important - when my daughter finally started preschool it took me months to recuperate form the first few years!
Good luck - it definitely gets better!
I hear you sister. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and my first thought is "I can't wait until 7:30 p.m, when Rachel goes to sleep." She watches way way too too much TV also. But, alas, I don't care. The pediatricians suggest no TV until they are much older and then only a few hours. Well, they are not helping me at my house so the heck with them. I too savor "me" time. I am glad I only have one child and can take her to daycare a couple of times per week. Or else I would go insane. You definitely need a break. Have you looked into a preschool at a church or something like that? They cost much less. For example, a full day at my daycare costs $45 per day. At the catholic church, it costs $100 per YEAR for Rachel to attend on Monday and Wednesday from 9 - 1 pm. Yes, I said $100 per YEAR. You do not have to be a member of the church or be of that religion. She will start going to the catholic program when she turns 2.
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